I stopped blogging,

I became terrified that someone in my "real" life would find this,

this nice, neat bundle of my biggest fears.

I stopped writing poetry, I stopped writing in general. 

Well writing anything that had nothing to do with college work, that is.

But you know what, FUCK IT. Excuse the language.

Life doesn't stop, believe it or not. 

No matter how many problems you solve, there'll be plenty more waiting.

Those daily obstacles you avoid to make life flow more smoothly?

Yeah, they lead you right into the chaotic tragedy that is existence.

The only way to make life run smoothly is to embrace it. 

And oh how I wish that for once in my life I could take my own advice.

So this bloggy thing is, once again, my form of outburst rants and random thoughts.

Whether nobody reads it, 

or my entire circle of family, friends and peers wander across it, it doesn't matter.

 These thoughts are mine and if this blog is found I will stand proud of my thoughts.

But, of course, I will attempt to keep my details subtle in order to stay unseen. ;)

First topic of discussion, Drugsdrugsdrugs.

I've done plenty of drugs, past tense. 

I still smoke weed but that'd be the main thing, barely even drink anymore.

Maybe I'm growing up? Taking my education seriously and what not.

I am doing well in college, which is something I never saw happening. 

I feel like one of the smart kids, and I love it.

People come to me for notes, instead of me begging others haha.

BUT, I have never tried acid. And I kinda wanna.

My boyfriend would prefer if I didn't, obviously, but wouldn't stop me. 

Big believer of "it's your choice", and I love him for it. <3

Its quite common in my circle of friends, which would make it more acceptable to me I guess.

I'm nervous though. 

To go all Kant like and philosophical on it, I'm afraid it will take me to the "noumenal" world.

I'm afraid that while being high I'll realize all that is missing in my life, 

and be too damn depressed to fix it.

And then I'll never take it again, because I'm good at that, trying things once.

But I'll know, I'll know that there could be a life without suffering. 

AND MAYBE I'M OVER REACTING.

People take drugs daily. 

Am I really that afraid to get inside my own head?

I believe so.

Peace. x